Have you ever screamed inside?

Movies, books, tv, the stage have influenced my life ever since I can remember. So tonight I saw this.

No different. I still am influenced. This was a little different. Even though I was watching it for parts of the film I was somewhere else.  I started to have thoughts about wishing that I was truly gifted at something.  Truly gifted. That I could do something to the point of genius. I’ve always said my biggest fear is being insignificant. That at the end of my life that I will look back and wonder if that was the best I could have done. I’m not that old so maybe that’s premature.  I thought about it twenty years ago so I wonder what I have been doing with that.

At lunch today I told stories of when I was teacher. I thought that was how I was going to change the world. I took the job I’m in now thinking before I get old I should do something like this. Well my job has changed in that ten year period for the better.  I still wonder though if I had not made this move what I would be now ten years later. Would i be battling the school district. Would I have climbed the ladder of public education.  I do believe that God put me here for this time. In preparation I think. I don’t know if its to do something else or if it is for what I will do the next day.  Why do movies bring up these kinds of thoughts.  I think friends do that too.  I said this phrase tonight “My ego has been bruised so many times”  Has it really though?

Here is what I know. There is a small group around me that think I’m pretty cool and that’s pretty cool.  There is so much to do in the world that I get overwhelmed with where to start.  Sometimes not being satisfied with the way the world works is OK even when you don’t know what to do.

I was trying to decide if this was a call for help or not. I never write anything for my job that doesn’t have to do with me first. This season I have three pieces that do. One that has the line “be the envy of all your friends when you email them from a far off land” another “Aren’t some people beyond your grace and another “You stay out here and think about it I’m going in”  All have a little piece of me in it.

I found out what my blog is about. Not recipes or a cause or funny news.  It’s about how does a single 32 year old guy navigate in a world when he has no plans for the future.  So what do you do with all that?  I think you press on and upward and sometimes just sometimes you scream a little inside.

I have no good ideas

Ok Church. So Erin a girl I work with invited me to her church with her husband. It was great.  You ever feel like you are somewhere that feels like home.  (other than your home)  I dont know if its that level but it just felt good.  Lately at church ive felt that ive had to do evaluate or well I felt like I was at work.  The minister said something that caused me to pause. he said something about forgetting your own spiritual health.  I’ve done that for sometime.  Anyway this is a little out there and I’m not really writing clear but that’s all I got. I’ll be back there again.  I hope she wont mind.   I’ll let you know how it goes.

Today was a suck day for me. It started with moving stuff in our warehouse early this morning.  The more I moved the more I started throwing stuff around. Seeing stuff that had been moved from place to place. Well lets just say I needed to just move on. It was one of those moments when I should have just gone home.  Never took that comp day or is it days that I was supposed. Guess what folks dont look for me in the month of August. I’ll either be traveling or I’m going to go to some state and  live there for a month. It with be my tenth anniversary so see ya sucker.

Anyway so after moving that stuff I snapped at Taylor (another dude I work with) ( yes, I have apologized, Ive gotten good at that) I think I snapped at Erin (girl who invited me to church) and the list goes on and on.  I kinda failed them when it came to keeping us on a time line for some projects. Maybe I should start a blog about how bosses can screw up. Man would I have a list or am I not supposed to admit those things.  I dont even remember when I started doing this boss thing.

Last I’m watching a new show.  ALong with the other MTv show. Kings.

So you would think a guy who tries to retell bible stories would have gotten it. Once again Chris who has never seen the show had to fill me in. It is a modern day telling of David’s story.  Why didn’t we tell that story.  I really am starting to like it. The funny thing is before I knew the story I thought it was a little mystical how Samuel talked to the king. Is that what Christians look to unbelievers. Yeah I think so. Anyway I’m really getting into it. Good stuff. You should check it out.

Your moment of zen. I dont care who you are this is funny

He’s Back

Well Ive been gone for  a week and I know I haven’t been missed. Back to cacophony of bad grammar and spelling bonanza. Enough of that I have to talk about  a new show that for some reason Ive started to watch.  I have a love hate relationship with Mtv. One I hate it when they treat teenagers as a commodity and then I love that they give them air time to just talk. I will go months without it in my life then suddenly it all comes back and I find my self watching hours upon hours.  Right now I’m watching a show called Taking the stage its a show kinda like Fame (some of you will know that)  only its a reality show. How reality is unsure. When they are practicing there is suddenly a smooth dolly shot that rings the dancer. Did he get that on the first try? Hmmm. Anyway you should check it out. So i’m real jealous.

In other news. I went to see Hannah in a play last night. I have to admit I liked it.  (Pause) They are doing Pedro the movie.  My generation knows that is the guy on real world that died of AIDs. Wow I’m getting old.  Any way I went to see Hannah’s play “Over the woods and ___” Old people can be real funny.  It was good to see her do her thing.  Today will be writing idea day. I’m heading to Erin’s church today then a Starbucks to work come look me up at patton creek bucks. (back)  I’d like to shrink my world a bit.  It is a smaller church so I wanted to check it out.

Oh and here is a rough draft of a video that we are working on.  It won’t be played like this. But it’s a little taste. We shot this at Ramsay highschool.  The guy in the video is part of a dance group at his church. Today I’m going to figure out how to put that in a video.  Well here you go.

Road This s an excerpt from This American life episode.  Someting for nothing. Ok now I’m done.

Disgusting

Disgusting. yes I Called it disgusting. I dont usually discuss shows in this venue but I feel the need. Ive been watching a No reservation marathon all week. Its been great. Dude travels around the world tasting local food. eating many things i would not. he is one of the reasons I like to travel….But during that time they have been playing this commercial for Man vs Food.  Ive taken the time to watch about 15 mins of that show a couple of months or weeks ago. That’s all I could take. The premise is to taste local foods and learn their customs blah blah blah. What it turns into is this dude trying to eat as much as he can as fast as he can.  There is always some challenge where he has  Why do I call it disgusting.   How do you watch that when you know this.  Not a food show but a show that crescendos with this dude pigging out on crap.  I’m not telling you to avoid the show. Watch and enjoy  But how do you watch this.

And know this.

Whoo Hoo. I ate a 8 Pound burger look at me.

PS im watching the bachelor.  What have I become. How can I watch this knowing that.

What a day.

Not really. Today on the menu I had creamy tomato soup.  The blender blew up a little bit. It seems I need an immersion blender.  yeah I had to look that up. Its one of these. Anyway now I know.  This happened to me the last time I made butternut squash soup.  They recommended it then also. Any way good soup good times.  Then I sat down and watched Tropic Thunder. yes I did laugh.  Tom Cruise I didnt even know that. I guess now I know.

They have been playing marathons all weekend right now im watching a Dirty Job marathon. What a great job. Not so much the host but the crew.  They look like they have a lot of fun. I guess they could hate it.  I realized this the other day. I don’t know celebrities. I don’t even know reality tv starts. You watch enough shows and you think you do. You think Aaron Sorkin is a nice guy John luke Picard is really the leader of a starship and I know what the Hippies who won the Amazing race is like.  It’s weird I don’t know why I think about that stuff I just do. I think this all came out of Tropic thunder. I guess thats not the other day. They were dudes playing dudes playing other dudes.  Robert Downey Jr. Character actually sounded sane.  I’m at the end of the line. the thoughts are gone. going to see Button with a friend this week. looking forward to that. ok back at it.

Last class

I know many of you have had to endure as I complained about going to class and etc. Well Tomorrow is the last class and I’m ready for it to be over. I took last friday off so that I could write a final paper that is due thursday. A buddy of mine Andy (sorry andy until update I can’t link you) is editing it for me. Its good to have friends like that.  Since Tv has started to bore me I have taken to watching netflix movies on instant watch. Mostly documentaries. Real good times. In fact in just a few minutes I will retire to my bed to take in a good time at the movies.

I’ve approached Taylor to see if he would be intersted in working on a project with me this year. Something to do in the off time.  I told him not to humor me in it if he wasn’t interested. We will see how that goes. I think he’ll be honest with me.  What else. On a side note something else I would like to work on this year. I bought the url changed by one the other day for this reason. I know that many of my friends and friends of friends sponsor kids with World Vision or Compassion or by some smaller outfit well I’d like to tell those stories. What I would like to do is create a place where we can tell those stories you know. Even if it’s not sponsorship. I think many of us have changed the life of one person or have been changed by one person. There is something about the power of one on one interactions.  We’ll see how that goes. I guess I would need to set that up soon.  Last class and a new day. Maybe I should study? Naw Signing off. oh and here is your monday moment of zen.

Tonight’s tv

Tonight I watched a show called secret millioaire. Couple of things.

1. It was like they didn’t know there were poor people in the world

2.  The dude with the money invented Raisin Canes chicken wings (love those wings)

3.  The three stories of the people from the gulf coast… huge. These guys are still digging out after Katrina.

4. The couple with the money did a great thing. Didnt need to go through all that for a tv show but hey three people were helped tonight.

5.  When they gave the money out it got me.

Did anyone else watch this?

In honor

In honor of the end of the election years…I thought it only fitting to show you the many facebook status updates I saw this morning.

Steven Lamphear can has Bush out of office now? Kthnxbye…

someone tell me again what is supposed to be my motivation for working…shouldn’t a check or something be coming soon?

lready feels oppressed and wonders why people think socialism is a good thing…

knows God can and will use the absolute worst to bring the most good for His glory and our good.

is going to bed and kissing Capitalism goodnight…forever.

is Ashamed of America!!!!

is remembering, “The LORD is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?…It is better to trust in the LORD, than to put confidence in man.” Psalm 118.

is glad we have a president today…lived in Florida the year of the hanging chads.

finds it funny that that McCain spent 300 million on the campaign Obama spent 600 million. For a job that pays 400k. And we wonder why the economy is like it is.

is getting my number to be served with my handout – I mean baillout, too!

is so incredibly proud to be an American and is praying for President-elect Obama.

is proud to be an American and believes in her country…and no, not for the first time in her adult life.

knows that God wasn’t suprised by anything that has happened today, and knows that the future still rests firmly in His hands!

just saw a video of obama mocking the Bible…pray for our new President.

Well, this is definitely a night of history… we’ll see what kind of history as time goes along. I’m all for hugs & normal tv. No more bashing commercials. And hey – if that dude can get my house sold, that would be a massive surprise!

Knows that Jehovah is my God and my times are in His hands.

s waiting to see if all the folks who said they would move to Canada really will. And if you do, goodbye because I don’t want a flake like you in my country!

why is america full of idiots?????

is praying for an America that can put their faith and hope in Jesus Christ. What a joy would it be to see a nation praising His name. .

‘s hope is in Christ, not Obama.

apologizes for his mis-spelling of critique, he doesn’t pay attention to detail when the end of a democracy is in sight.

tomorrow we will move forward is an opinion, nice try though! sorry you took so much of your time to look that up just to be wrong.

i especially love the folks that say they want to leave the u.s. and go to canada because it will be “socialist” when obama takes office. do they not realize that canada is socialized????

prays for rest and clarity for president bush and compassion and strength for president-elect obama.

is give it to God.

MAY GOD’S WILL BE DONE IN AMERICA!!…MAY WE BLESS HIM THROUGH THE OUTCOME.

is proud to be an American tonight! Congratulations, Obama!!

is fully relying on God for strength, stamina, unity and peace.

is getting ready to hear our new anthem, “Praise The One, Obama…”.

Ok there you go.  Hey if you got some good ones send them my way.  You can put them int the dear drewbox or just enter them to the right where it says click here under the Note For Drew. Peace

edit:

We were too depressed to leave the house tonight. We watched non-news television instead. Scare Tactics to be exact. But let’s have an unpolitical hang-out soon.

is really happy that we can change anything in this country that isn’t working.

is just wondering, now that there is a black president, we can finally get rid of affirmative action right? Also, now Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton can stop?

went to the gas station this morning and still had to pay…now I have to work so more people can benefit from my paycheck

is worried about the election today. I still can’t believe people are actually going to vote for Obama. God help us.