EULOGY – MRS GLORIA JANE ALLEN

Rev. Thomas, Dr. Prendergast, Pastor Burnett, Aunt Preshous, Uncle Vaughn, My Mother Thelma, Family and Friends, please indulge me to offer this eulogy for our beloved, Mrs. Allen, Mama, Mother, Miss Gloria, Sister Allen, Grandma, Grandmother, Aunt Gloria, Mother G – a remarkable and Godly woman, whose life/death we celebrate today.

Grandma was a Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Sister, Aunt, neighbor, friend the one who brought a smile in the face of hardship, encouragement in the face of life battles, soft, tender, forgiving, kindhearted, a Peacemaker and passionate about living a life pleasing to God her Savior and always conscious and careful to note that this life on earth is not the end but we look forward to a heavenly home, a greater resurrection, imperfections, yes, but she carried the hope and faith daily that she enters heaven not on what she has done but the work of Christ on the cross.

Grandma was born December 1915, to Ophelia Graham and Uriah Graham. She is the youngest of five children- Louise, Gertrude, Clifford, Hilda all now deceased. Mass Urie as great Grandfather was affectionately called, loved to farm and Great Grandmother, Miss Phelie was a stay at home Mother tending to the garden and taking care of her 5 children. Miss Phelie and Mass Urie were strong Baptists and sang in the Choir at the Brown’s Baptist Church for several years and instilled Christian principles in her children.

Grandma was fortunate to attend school as few in her time did. She excelled at school but had a bit of a problem with Math – “sums” as she referred to it but that did not deter her from excellent financial management during her life. Grandma knew the art of stretching a dollar to two. Grandma however had a very creative mind and later in life enjoyed that. We often told her that she could have become a famous artist or musician (you may recall the impromptu song she rendered in this church called “Jesus is excellent”)

Grandma loved to live and was full of ambition so as a young woman she left home to “seek her fortune” (as seeking a career was called back in the day) in Kingston to locate employment…something that was not common in the day for young women. The independent spirit that Grandma had surfaced….she learned dressmaking and many a garment was made by her hands for her children and without a sewing machine..too poor to buy one. Sometimes it was remake from her own clothes when she could not afford to buy new cloth. Her dressmaking skill explains why she was so well dressed, coordinated and everything matching. Aunt Preshous recalls coming home from “Infant” school to find a beautiful rag doll that Grandma had made for her and how it delighted her so much she has never forgotten, only wished she had kept it, that was the skill and tender kindness of heart she had.

On one of Grandma’s home visits from Kingston, Grandma was walking along in Brown’s Town, going about her business when “a tall brown man” started to approach her. She brushed him off as of course she was now a “Kingston Girl” and had no interest in a country boy and a very poor country boy at that! However, Grandpa Joseph Allen pursued her relentlessly and even before she could say “yes” to any forthcoming proposal, Grandpa purchased a wedding band and was ready for a marriage and the next thing you would know on March 26, 1946 they were married here by Dr. DeCateret, much to the chagrin of Mass Urie but blessed somewhat by Miss Phelie as when grandpa visited the home he would take with him the biggest bible and so Miss Phelie thought “tall good looking brown man with a bible..poor but not bad as the large bible indicated a large man of God! The young couple briefly lived in Retirement as Grandma decided that was not for her and moved back to Wilberforce hotly pursued by Grandpa. She never left Wilberforce to the day she died except for a stay in the United States.

From that union, three children were born – Gloria (so named because at the birth registration, Great Grandma Albertha Allen forgot the name given “Angela” and just figure that Gloria was just as good as any. As she was the firstborn she was called Precious. Son Vaughn was next and Thelma (called Curly because her hair was so very curly at birth)

Grandma was always fired by ambition and she worked hard to instill that in her three children. As she would often say “I can’t stand someone without ambition….might as well ‘dem dead” and she lived what she preached. With three children and very poor she was burned with ambition to make sure that they attended school and become “somebody”. She worked diligently and hard at it. She kept cows until one pulled her down and she decided that she would not lose her life from a cow and that was the end of the cow. We eat beef for months! She kept pigs, chickens, rabbits, and planted vegetables for the dinner table. Poor but there was not a day that food was not on the table..many times by a miracle. She made sure that we had food so that we would learn at school. Oh that hot cornmeal porridge made with the fresh cow’s milk that Grandpa had just milked and hardough bread for breakfast. Walking 2 miles or so to school was not a problem, all the children were fed.

She made sure that all the children had clothes. Well, new ones for Church and when those were short and tight they became “yard clothes”. She did not have the patience for sloppiness and clothes had to be starched ironed and shoes shining clean. No matter that it was only one set of church clothes, one set of uniform, one pair of church shoes and one school shoes. She made sure everyone, Grandpa, and all the children were always well “put together” as she would say before they leave the house. And as you know she was a good dresser herself….even to this day.

As I mentioned before education was very important to her and school was a given, Preshous went on to York Castle High, Durham College of Commerce, Thelma to Business school in Kingston becoming one of the fastest Stenographers on graduation, and Vaughn to mechanic training.

Not only was education important but a Christian upbringing was paramount for her. She attended the Catholic Church briefly as a young woman and when she had children and they were ready for church around 2 years old she started them out at the Catholic Church. That did not work after 2 visits because Grandpa had been saved under the fiery preaching of Dr. Johnson and would have none of it. So they were sent off to the Brown’s Town Tabernacle and under the ministry of Dr. Kennedy, Grandma accepted Christ and never looked back. As she said on the day of her baptism, there is no turning back. All three children also accepted Christ under Dr. Kennedy’s ministry. There was no compromise. It was to Church every Sunday.rain or shine sustaining what God had begun. Night services were not included as “night have no governor” so no one was allowed to go out of the house at night.

Grandma was a business woman at heart also. She could not sit still and when things were not looking to her “suit” she began to travel to Kingston and purchase bales of cloth at Princess Street and hire a seamstress to make all kinds of clothing and she would sell at the market for a profit. However, frequently, she would always take out the best cloth to make dresses for the two girls and shirt and pants for the boy. She did this business for a long time and she did it well.

Then in her mid 50’s Grandma decided she would travel overseas.. always wanted the experience. The earlier England migration was not appealing to her as she loved her children so much she would not leave them. They were grown now and so off she went to the United States. A tremendous risk but she is a brave woman at heart and fearlessly she worked there for 15 years and returned home and lived a great life. Don’t be fooled, her life was one of humility. Grandma disliked intensely a haughty and “show off” lifestyle. She was very kind, always giving to someone in need and offering a helping hand but quietly without a word…”because yu no haffe mek people know wha yu a do”. She never hesitated to share some food or clothes with the ones in need. She considered it a sin to have 2 shoes when someone had none. She was so kindhearted; she did not like to have too much for herself. She did not like to have too much for herself so she was always giving away clothes, shoes, food to those who did not have. We recall a lady who was sick and everyday Grandma would take her some soup for a long time and there are many who received her kindness but she did not talk ..you had to only observe it.

She was totally devoted to her husband and children were the apple of her eyes and would wisely let us know that she does not love one more than the other so there was not the rivalry that happens sometimes with siblings. As she would often say, when the hair on the head of one of her children hurt, she hurts. She was a lot of fun and when the children were small there are fond memories they recall of them all playing in her big bed while waiting for Papa to come home from work. When one of her Daughters became ill as a result of untreated Post Partum complications, she did not hesitate to standby by her 110%. She taught us during that time to the day she died how to love unconditionally. As she would often say, there is nothing like the love of a Mother for her child. She was quick to forgive, never held a grudge or a spirit of un-forgiveness. She was always a peacemaker and hated to hear bickering, quarrels and discord. She wept openly when such a thing happened and prayed the more for anyone involved. She was always conscious of not doing anything wrong to upset Jesus. And was constantly praying and asking Jesus to forgive her if she has done anything wrong that she is not aware of. As she always says, “we have to forgive as Jesus did for us”

She lived an authentic life not seeking to impress or to be pretentious. Her life was the truth. She was adamant about the truth…when the children would be naughty or stepped out of line she would cup the face in her hand and say as sternly as she can “Tell me the Truth because I can’t stand a dam liar”. Once she had the truth she would work on fixing the trouble of course with a reprimand.

Mother did her own thinking and did not leave it up to others, whether it is politics or church to do the thinking for her. She spent long period of times talking with God and insights would come to mind as to how god would lead her. She worked out her own salvation. So Godly! She was way ahead in her understanding of God and we think that is because she spent so much time praying to God and cultivating a daily relationship with.

Then the time came, sad time for all, about 5 -8 years ago, her memory started to fade. She had difficulty remembering and was confused. We all thought it was just the usual aging process but she knew something was wrong and she let everyone who would listen know, mostly trying to see if she could fix it. Some people would just dismiss or just rudely turn away, but she knew in her heart that something was not right. You see that was the beginning of altsztimer. A severe form of dementia for which there is no cure. Grandma had the best medical care that is available but thru it all, her one desire was to go home to Jesus. For a long time Grandma just wanted to go home to Jesus. Sometimes she would express her disappointment waking up on earth on not haven. She is the most prepared person we know who with such deep longing and confidence just wanted to be with Jesus.

Jesus answered this remarkable woman of faith wish, desire and prayer on September 6, 2009.

Below you can also see some added t-shirts. This is really going to happen.

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(Yeah that’s my whole name)

This is to dispel any rumors about my thoughts on marriage. From my post on “my hope” should  have ended the issue but recently Ive wondered if those kinds of thoughts have changed.  I’ve made statements like “tell me about Paul’s wife” Ok that was pretty lame since I am no where near Paul. In fact I do know that if Paul knew me he wouldnt like me.  Any way.  My father divorced my mother when I was in 7th grade I think.  I wouldnt say that it effected me that much but I never really went to a shrink or anything so who knows.  I can’t remember life before the 4 grade so who knows what’s going on there. Anyway I’m sure that goes into my thinking of how I see marriage.  Couples I love to watch are ones that look like they are truly friends. I’ve watch some that I would say seem to be more of a hassle being together And if you say that is their love language I’m going to smack you.   Yeah and say well its tough or we’re working on it. There’s got to be a better way right.  Like I look at that and say what is that to hope for. Two angry people who will one day find out you would make better friends outside of the house than in. Or you cheat on your spouse and chalk it up to well we “fell out of love” or “We are so much happier now”  I havent talked to my dad really in over 10 years.  Yeah that was the best thing for our family.  I became a statistic another black male raised by their mother. I think my mother did a good job and I’ll fight anyone who says different.

And that’s what scares the crap out of me.  I would hope to be in a house where there would dancing and laughter so maybe that’s part of breaking the cycle. I do know that im mostly estranged from my family. I see my mother every once in a while and my sister. When we do get together we do have much to say. Good stuff to say. But then that’s it we move on.  So is that the picture of family that I have. Is that what my family has to look forward to. A father or husband that doesnt communicate. Break the cycle drew.  I do know marriage looks like a wonderful thing.  I dont think you have to know that to know Christ’s love. I’ve heard that said before.  That maybe why I like going to church on a sunday night.  Anyway lately Ive been seeing some guys who make marriage look like a blast.  Not one where someone tip toes around the other so as to not piss the person off. That doesnt look like marriage to me.  Or you giving up any dream or afraid to ask the other to join in that dream. That doesnt look like it to me either.  So ask me “have i ever been in Love”  I think…no I know.   The kind that rips your heart out when its over. I cried like my aunt at my grandmothers funeral. Wasnt pretty.  Pain. mmmm Marriage equals pain.  Naw. Ive heard people say its the toughest thing they had ever done.  Hmmm. I know this.  if it wasnt for some friend of mine id be done with it.   Now what i would ask is do you actively look for a mate or do sit and pray in your room. Some times I wonder if I have met her already.   I also dont believe in the “there only one in the world.” There are a couple billion people on the planet  folks.  Odd if there is only one.  Ok that’s all I got not much I know but thats it.  Oh and future wife if you happen to be reading this.  I’ll talk to you soon.  Just think how funny it will be when I break out this post years from now and we all laugh.  Oh and you want me to make some popcorn.

By Roland Martin
CNN Contributor

Editor’s note: Roland Martin is a CNN contributor and talk-show host on WVON-AM in Chicago, Illinois. He is the author of “Listening to the Spirit Within: 50 Perspectives on Faith.”

NEW YORK (CNN) — When did it come to the point that being a Christian meant caring about only two issues,­ abortion and homosexuality?

Ask the nonreligious what being a Christian today means, and based on what we see and read, it’s a good bet they will say that followers of Jesus Christ are preoccupied with those two points.

Poverty? Whatever. Homelessness? An afterthought. A widening gap between the have and have-nots? Immaterial. Divorce? The divorce rate of Christians mirrors the national average, so that’s no big deal.

The point is that being a Christian should be about more than abortion and homosexuality, and it’s high time that those not considered a part of the religious right expose the hypocrisy of our brothers and sisters in Christianity and take back the faith. And those on the left who believe they have a “get out of sin free” card must not be allowed to justify their actions.

Many people believe we are engaged in a holy war. And we are. But it’s not with Muslims. The real war — ­ the silent war ­– is being engaged among Christians, and that’s what we must set our sights on.

As we celebrate Holy Week, our focus is on the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. But aren’t we also to recommit ourselves to live more like Jesus? Did Jesus spend his time focusing on all that he didn’t like, or did Jesus raise the consciousness of the people to understand love, compassion and teach them about following the will of God?

As a layman studying to receive a master’s in Christian communications, and the husband of an ordained minister, it’s troubling to listen to “Christian radio” and hear the kind of hate spewing out of the mouths of my brothers and sisters in the faith.

In fact, I’ve grown tired of people who pimp God. That’s right; we have a litany of individuals today who are holy, holy, holy, sing hallelujah, talk about how they love the Lord, but when it’s time to walk the walk, somehow the spirit evaporates.

A couple of years ago I took exception to an e-mail blast from the Concerned Women for America. The group was angry that Democrats were blocking certain judges put up for the federal bench by President Bush. It called on Americans to fight Democrats who wanted to keep Christians off the bench.

So I called and sent an e-mail asking, “So, where were you when President Clinton appointed Christian judges to the bench? Were they truly behind Christian judges, or Republican Christian judges?

Surprise, surprise. There was never a response.

An African-American pastor I know in the Midwest was asked by a group of mostly white clergy to march in an anti-abortion rally. He was fine with that, but then asked the clergy if they would work with him to fight crack houses in predominantly black neighborhoods.

“That’s really your problem,” he was told.

They saw abortion as a moral imperative, but not a community ravaged by crack.

If abortion and gay marriage are part of the Christian agenda, I have no issue with that. Those are moral issues that should be of importance to people of the faith, but the agenda should be much, much broader.

I’m looking for the day when Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Joyce Meyer, James Dobson, Tony Perkins, James Kennedy, Rod Parsley, ” Patriot Pastors” and Rick Warren will sit at the same table as Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Cynthia Hale, Eddie L. Long, James Meek, Fred Price, Emmanuel Cleaver and Floyd Flake to establish a call to arms on racism, AIDS, police brutality, a national health care policy, our sorry education system.

If they all say they love and worship one God, one Jesus, let’s see them rally their members behind one agenda.

I stand here today not as a Republican or a liberal. And don’t bother calling me a Democrat or a conservative. I am a man,­ an African-American man ­who has professed that Jesus Christ is Lord, and that’s to whom I bow down.

If you concur, it’s time to stop allowing a chosen few to speak for the masses. Quit letting them define the agenda.

So put on the full armor of God because we have work to do.