Breast Cancer Walk

I love these ladies.

I don’t know when it happened but I fell in love with these ladies. I met Rashel over ten years ago when I came to work for the company I work for now. We try to catch up every now and then with a lunch. Its good to catch up with her. Today I volunteered and went also walked for the cure.  The day started out at …..

I pretty much pretend that this is early for me. I’m usually up by this time. Well Rashel was diagnosed some years ago.  I got involved because she was (involved). She pretty much beat the crap out of that. That’s why she has the I’m a survivor shirt on. She’s the one on the right.  Anyway the first thing Hannah and I did (hannah is the one on the left) was check in at the table to volunteer.  We had signed up to be at the late registration table. They said that’s a good place for us because you can also be in the race. So we checked people in and then sent them on their way. We didn’t stay long  it was time to head out for the walk. Hannah kept using the word run but I quickly corrected her that that this would be a walk. Well it rained the whole walk and still people came out.  I would say thousands. You know what. Cancer sucks. Sucks big time.  I would even go as far as to say its not fair.  So the least I can do is take a walk with these two incredible women.  Good times great oldies.  I’ll be back tomorrow with entertainment news.

Past Week project

So i’ve been doing a little volunteer project. A week ago Hannah asked me if I would take some pictures of a cd project that she was working on for her group. I was about to divulge even more but this isnt my diary this is a a little less than that. Any way I’ve been taking pictures for that. So because this is Saturday how about I just show you some pictures. I’ve put some on my facebook so you may see some repeats.

Where to start

It has been a busy month. The most major is that I went to the funeral of my Grandmother. There is something about burying your grandparents. I think we will always say I wish we had spent more time.  This first post is going to be a little different instead of me writing on some topic that I mostly don’t know anything about I’m going to let my cousin tell you about her. First my last living grand parent Joseph Allen then the eulogy to my grandmother.

EULOGY – MRS GLORIA JANE ALLEN

Rev. Thomas, Dr. Prendergast, Pastor Burnett, Aunt Preshous, Uncle Vaughn, My Mother Thelma, Family and Friends, please indulge me to offer this eulogy for our beloved, Mrs. Allen, Mama, Mother, Miss Gloria, Sister Allen, Grandma, Grandmother, Aunt Gloria, Mother G – a remarkable and Godly woman, whose life/death we celebrate today.

Grandma was a Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Sister, Aunt, neighbor, friend the one who brought a smile in the face of hardship, encouragement in the face of life battles, soft, tender, forgiving, kindhearted, a Peacemaker and passionate about living a life pleasing to God her Savior and always conscious and careful to note that this life on earth is not the end but we look forward to a heavenly home, a greater resurrection, imperfections, yes, but she carried the hope and faith daily that she enters heaven not on what she has done but the work of Christ on the cross.

Grandma was born December 1915, to Ophelia Graham and Uriah Graham. She is the youngest of five children- Louise, Gertrude, Clifford, Hilda all now deceased. Mass Urie as great Grandfather was affectionately called, loved to farm and Great Grandmother, Miss Phelie was a stay at home Mother tending to the garden and taking care of her 5 children. Miss Phelie and Mass Urie were strong Baptists and sang in the Choir at the Brown’s Baptist Church for several years and instilled Christian principles in her children.

Grandma was fortunate to attend school as few in her time did. She excelled at school but had a bit of a problem with Math – “sums” as she referred to it but that did not deter her from excellent financial management during her life. Grandma knew the art of stretching a dollar to two. Grandma however had a very creative mind and later in life enjoyed that. We often told her that she could have become a famous artist or musician (you may recall the impromptu song she rendered in this church called “Jesus is excellent”)

Grandma loved to live and was full of ambition so as a young woman she left home to “seek her fortune” (as seeking a career was called back in the day) in Kingston to locate employment…something that was not common in the day for young women. The independent spirit that Grandma had surfaced….she learned dressmaking and many a garment was made by her hands for her children and without a sewing machine..too poor to buy one. Sometimes it was remake from her own clothes when she could not afford to buy new cloth. Her dressmaking skill explains why she was so well dressed, coordinated and everything matching. Aunt Preshous recalls coming home from “Infant” school to find a beautiful rag doll that Grandma had made for her and how it delighted her so much she has never forgotten, only wished she had kept it, that was the skill and tender kindness of heart she had.

On one of Grandma’s home visits from Kingston, Grandma was walking along in Brown’s Town, going about her business when “a tall brown man” started to approach her. She brushed him off as of course she was now a “Kingston Girl” and had no interest in a country boy and a very poor country boy at that! However, Grandpa Joseph Allen pursued her relentlessly and even before she could say “yes” to any forthcoming proposal, Grandpa purchased a wedding band and was ready for a marriage and the next thing you would know on March 26, 1946 they were married here by Dr. DeCateret, much to the chagrin of Mass Urie but blessed somewhat by Miss Phelie as when grandpa visited the home he would take with him the biggest bible and so Miss Phelie thought “tall good looking brown man with a bible..poor but not bad as the large bible indicated a large man of God! The young couple briefly lived in Retirement as Grandma decided that was not for her and moved back to Wilberforce hotly pursued by Grandpa. She never left Wilberforce to the day she died except for a stay in the United States.

From that union, three children were born – Gloria (so named because at the birth registration, Great Grandma Albertha Allen forgot the name given “Angela” and just figure that Gloria was just as good as any. As she was the firstborn she was called Precious. Son Vaughn was next and Thelma (called Curly because her hair was so very curly at birth)

Grandma was always fired by ambition and she worked hard to instill that in her three children. As she would often say “I can’t stand someone without ambition….might as well ‘dem dead” and she lived what she preached. With three children and very poor she was burned with ambition to make sure that they attended school and become “somebody”. She worked diligently and hard at it. She kept cows until one pulled her down and she decided that she would not lose her life from a cow and that was the end of the cow. We eat beef for months! She kept pigs, chickens, rabbits, and planted vegetables for the dinner table. Poor but there was not a day that food was not on the table..many times by a miracle. She made sure that we had food so that we would learn at school. Oh that hot cornmeal porridge made with the fresh cow’s milk that Grandpa had just milked and hardough bread for breakfast. Walking 2 miles or so to school was not a problem, all the children were fed.

She made sure that all the children had clothes. Well, new ones for Church and when those were short and tight they became “yard clothes”. She did not have the patience for sloppiness and clothes had to be starched ironed and shoes shining clean. No matter that it was only one set of church clothes, one set of uniform, one pair of church shoes and one school shoes. She made sure everyone, Grandpa, and all the children were always well “put together” as she would say before they leave the house. And as you know she was a good dresser herself….even to this day.

As I mentioned before education was very important to her and school was a given, Preshous went on to York Castle High, Durham College of Commerce, Thelma to Business school in Kingston becoming one of the fastest Stenographers on graduation, and Vaughn to mechanic training.

Not only was education important but a Christian upbringing was paramount for her. She attended the Catholic Church briefly as a young woman and when she had children and they were ready for church around 2 years old she started them out at the Catholic Church. That did not work after 2 visits because Grandpa had been saved under the fiery preaching of Dr. Johnson and would have none of it. So they were sent off to the Brown’s Town Tabernacle and under the ministry of Dr. Kennedy, Grandma accepted Christ and never looked back. As she said on the day of her baptism, there is no turning back. All three children also accepted Christ under Dr. Kennedy’s ministry. There was no compromise. It was to Church every Sunday.rain or shine sustaining what God had begun. Night services were not included as “night have no governor” so no one was allowed to go out of the house at night.

Grandma was a business woman at heart also. She could not sit still and when things were not looking to her “suit” she began to travel to Kingston and purchase bales of cloth at Princess Street and hire a seamstress to make all kinds of clothing and she would sell at the market for a profit. However, frequently, she would always take out the best cloth to make dresses for the two girls and shirt and pants for the boy. She did this business for a long time and she did it well.

Then in her mid 50’s Grandma decided she would travel overseas.. always wanted the experience. The earlier England migration was not appealing to her as she loved her children so much she would not leave them. They were grown now and so off she went to the United States. A tremendous risk but she is a brave woman at heart and fearlessly she worked there for 15 years and returned home and lived a great life. Don’t be fooled, her life was one of humility. Grandma disliked intensely a haughty and “show off” lifestyle. She was very kind, always giving to someone in need and offering a helping hand but quietly without a word…”because yu no haffe mek people know wha yu a do”. She never hesitated to share some food or clothes with the ones in need. She considered it a sin to have 2 shoes when someone had none. She was so kindhearted; she did not like to have too much for herself. She did not like to have too much for herself so she was always giving away clothes, shoes, food to those who did not have. We recall a lady who was sick and everyday Grandma would take her some soup for a long time and there are many who received her kindness but she did not talk ..you had to only observe it.

She was totally devoted to her husband and children were the apple of her eyes and would wisely let us know that she does not love one more than the other so there was not the rivalry that happens sometimes with siblings. As she would often say, when the hair on the head of one of her children hurt, she hurts. She was a lot of fun and when the children were small there are fond memories they recall of them all playing in her big bed while waiting for Papa to come home from work. When one of her Daughters became ill as a result of untreated Post Partum complications, she did not hesitate to standby by her 110%. She taught us during that time to the day she died how to love unconditionally. As she would often say, there is nothing like the love of a Mother for her child. She was quick to forgive, never held a grudge or a spirit of un-forgiveness. She was always a peacemaker and hated to hear bickering, quarrels and discord. She wept openly when such a thing happened and prayed the more for anyone involved. She was always conscious of not doing anything wrong to upset Jesus. And was constantly praying and asking Jesus to forgive her if she has done anything wrong that she is not aware of. As she always says, “we have to forgive as Jesus did for us”

She lived an authentic life not seeking to impress or to be pretentious. Her life was the truth. She was adamant about the truth…when the children would be naughty or stepped out of line she would cup the face in her hand and say as sternly as she can “Tell me the Truth because I can’t stand a dam liar”. Once she had the truth she would work on fixing the trouble of course with a reprimand.

Mother did her own thinking and did not leave it up to others, whether it is politics or church to do the thinking for her. She spent long period of times talking with God and insights would come to mind as to how god would lead her. She worked out her own salvation. So Godly! She was way ahead in her understanding of God and we think that is because she spent so much time praying to God and cultivating a daily relationship with.

Then the time came, sad time for all, about 5 -8 years ago, her memory started to fade. She had difficulty remembering and was confused. We all thought it was just the usual aging process but she knew something was wrong and she let everyone who would listen know, mostly trying to see if she could fix it. Some people would just dismiss or just rudely turn away, but she knew in her heart that something was not right. You see that was the beginning of altsztimer. A severe form of dementia for which there is no cure. Grandma had the best medical care that is available but thru it all, her one desire was to go home to Jesus. For a long time Grandma just wanted to go home to Jesus. Sometimes she would express her disappointment waking up on earth on not haven. She is the most prepared person we know who with such deep longing and confidence just wanted to be with Jesus.

Jesus answered this remarkable woman of faith wish, desire and prayer on September 6, 2009.

Short update

This update will be done by list.

1. Had a great meeting with my Pastor today. Never done that. Going to do that a couple more times. It was really good to talk with him. Pastoral care seems to be a real thing.

2. I am going back to school.  Only two more classes and a paper and I’m done. I could have done this last year.  Weird to think that. That’s something.

3. Vacation starts officially on Monday. I’ve been there for the past two weeks. I will be hitting the reset button.

4. I’m getting a roommate.

5. My dad asked me to visit him some time this fall.  I have to make that happen.

6. No car yet. My pastor said something that has been ripping at me.  He asked whether me having a hard time with of buying a car can be equated with some of my indecision life direction. Hmmm.

7. I started removing facebook friends to much on my page and too many political statements for me. You have the freedom but sometimes I really just care about the new dress you just bought.

8. Oh my vacation will take me to Austin and then on to Seattle.

9. I will be building a flagstone porch. Time to call Andy.

10. ?

slow motion

You ever feel like your life is in slow motion. You know like everything is just kinda floating around.  I think I’m moving in slow motion.  Really weird.  Something profound. So two friends of mine told me a story of them apologizing to someone for how they treated them. I’m not talking about teenage boys these are grown men. That got me thinking about apologies. It really takes a lot to do that.  Really. Not just the sorry. I’m talking about you walking up to someone who doesn’t even know how you felt about them and apologize. That my friend is huge.  I think it wasn’t until after college that I truly was able to do that. I think during college I gave an excuse not an apology.  Where is this going? I dont really have an apology to end this post it just came to mind.

So slow motion. I’ve been gone so long I dont really know what’s going on at the office. Kinda feel in the way.  I’m going to try something at work. For one year I will not write anything.  Yup you heard right. I will not write a thing for work.  Well I mean a story.  I need to take a break you know. I haven’t written anything good for a while.  So there you go.

I found this dont know them. Please educate me.

Sell my car-Step 1

So you remeber me talking about this.

Well to do that I have to sell my car. So if you are looking for a car you can find the ad here.  craiglist So here is what I’m doing. If you buy it at full price 16,500. I’d like to donate $500 dollars to your favorite charity in your name.  So dont you want to help me get closer to owning a piece of junk.  And now the add.

Always garaged, Ice cold A/C, Low mileage, Maintenance records available, Very clean interior, Well maintained,  Basically this is great car that I don’t drive often enough. Needs a good home. Trying to simplify my life a bit. I have carfax. It has 20,500 miles on it. Ive been the only owner. Its a 2007. Push button start. Pleas tell your friends.

Let the buying begin.

Have you ever screamed inside?

Movies, books, tv, the stage have influenced my life ever since I can remember. So tonight I saw this.

No different. I still am influenced. This was a little different. Even though I was watching it for parts of the film I was somewhere else.  I started to have thoughts about wishing that I was truly gifted at something.  Truly gifted. That I could do something to the point of genius. I’ve always said my biggest fear is being insignificant. That at the end of my life that I will look back and wonder if that was the best I could have done. I’m not that old so maybe that’s premature.  I thought about it twenty years ago so I wonder what I have been doing with that.

At lunch today I told stories of when I was teacher. I thought that was how I was going to change the world. I took the job I’m in now thinking before I get old I should do something like this. Well my job has changed in that ten year period for the better.  I still wonder though if I had not made this move what I would be now ten years later. Would i be battling the school district. Would I have climbed the ladder of public education.  I do believe that God put me here for this time. In preparation I think. I don’t know if its to do something else or if it is for what I will do the next day.  Why do movies bring up these kinds of thoughts.  I think friends do that too.  I said this phrase tonight “My ego has been bruised so many times”  Has it really though?

Here is what I know. There is a small group around me that think I’m pretty cool and that’s pretty cool.  There is so much to do in the world that I get overwhelmed with where to start.  Sometimes not being satisfied with the way the world works is OK even when you don’t know what to do.

I was trying to decide if this was a call for help or not. I never write anything for my job that doesn’t have to do with me first. This season I have three pieces that do. One that has the line “be the envy of all your friends when you email them from a far off land” another “Aren’t some people beyond your grace and another “You stay out here and think about it I’m going in”  All have a little piece of me in it.

I found out what my blog is about. Not recipes or a cause or funny news.  It’s about how does a single 32 year old guy navigate in a world when he has no plans for the future.  So what do you do with all that?  I think you press on and upward and sometimes just sometimes you scream a little inside.

this is the real deal

there is so much that I could say. So much. It is weird to be on the other side. I’m at a world changers event. I dont really know about it but the yellow hats camp out.  Some of you know what I’m talking about.  Schedules are out the window.  Right now the boys in my room are debating basketball.  Yeah I know nothing about that. Absolutely nothing one good thing. Internet who knew that in wiggins alabama we have wifi…that’s something.  Ok I’m going to collect my thoughts. I’ll talk to you later.

drew

Ok I’m back because I want to talk about today a little bit. It has been great being around these guys. I found that Im not the goofy guy. I actually am so curious about their life that I dont want to waste it just goofing off and trying to be the funny guy.  Like take Mark “I’m going to change their names because they can find this by just looking up my name”…I hear that he’s picked on at school or the leader who doesnt alway want to lead but will take the roal. Or the girl that is figuring out how to be a woman in a world that preys on them. Don’t get me started on how pissed I am at men. Or it could be the friends that are realizing that they are on the outside of this group..Any way they are all here.  Its such a short trip its hard to imagine anything can happen here. Funny thing is I think God could do something. Here are the awsome things that I have seen so far. A schedule that has been thrown out the window. We really dont know what is going to happen at the next moment. Worship leader seems like a real nice guy. This is low tech which is good for these kids. For some reason they try to let tech stuff creep in and well it was real bad. Video was real bad but hey they tried.  Note to other org.  tech is not the answer to everything. If you dont have it be real we’ll enjoy that more than you trying. It really is ok. I’ll post some pictures of all the SL stuff that I saw today. JLC tshirts, lanyards on the main dude. We have infiltrated the small church. How did that happened. Must go to bed soon. Chatting with Amber so I got to go.

Peace