Where to start

It has been a busy month. The most major is that I went to the funeral of my Grandmother. There is something about burying your grandparents. I think we will always say I wish we had spent more time.  This first post is going to be a little different instead of me writing on some topic that I mostly don’t know anything about I’m going to let my cousin tell you about her. First my last living grand parent Joseph Allen then the eulogy to my grandmother.

EULOGY – MRS GLORIA JANE ALLEN

Rev. Thomas, Dr. Prendergast, Pastor Burnett, Aunt Preshous, Uncle Vaughn, My Mother Thelma, Family and Friends, please indulge me to offer this eulogy for our beloved, Mrs. Allen, Mama, Mother, Miss Gloria, Sister Allen, Grandma, Grandmother, Aunt Gloria, Mother G – a remarkable and Godly woman, whose life/death we celebrate today.

Grandma was a Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Sister, Aunt, neighbor, friend the one who brought a smile in the face of hardship, encouragement in the face of life battles, soft, tender, forgiving, kindhearted, a Peacemaker and passionate about living a life pleasing to God her Savior and always conscious and careful to note that this life on earth is not the end but we look forward to a heavenly home, a greater resurrection, imperfections, yes, but she carried the hope and faith daily that she enters heaven not on what she has done but the work of Christ on the cross.

Grandma was born December 1915, to Ophelia Graham and Uriah Graham. She is the youngest of five children- Louise, Gertrude, Clifford, Hilda all now deceased. Mass Urie as great Grandfather was affectionately called, loved to farm and Great Grandmother, Miss Phelie was a stay at home Mother tending to the garden and taking care of her 5 children. Miss Phelie and Mass Urie were strong Baptists and sang in the Choir at the Brown’s Baptist Church for several years and instilled Christian principles in her children.

Grandma was fortunate to attend school as few in her time did. She excelled at school but had a bit of a problem with Math – “sums” as she referred to it but that did not deter her from excellent financial management during her life. Grandma knew the art of stretching a dollar to two. Grandma however had a very creative mind and later in life enjoyed that. We often told her that she could have become a famous artist or musician (you may recall the impromptu song she rendered in this church called “Jesus is excellent”)

Grandma loved to live and was full of ambition so as a young woman she left home to “seek her fortune” (as seeking a career was called back in the day) in Kingston to locate employment…something that was not common in the day for young women. The independent spirit that Grandma had surfaced….she learned dressmaking and many a garment was made by her hands for her children and without a sewing machine..too poor to buy one. Sometimes it was remake from her own clothes when she could not afford to buy new cloth. Her dressmaking skill explains why she was so well dressed, coordinated and everything matching. Aunt Preshous recalls coming home from “Infant” school to find a beautiful rag doll that Grandma had made for her and how it delighted her so much she has never forgotten, only wished she had kept it, that was the skill and tender kindness of heart she had.

On one of Grandma’s home visits from Kingston, Grandma was walking along in Brown’s Town, going about her business when “a tall brown man” started to approach her. She brushed him off as of course she was now a “Kingston Girl” and had no interest in a country boy and a very poor country boy at that! However, Grandpa Joseph Allen pursued her relentlessly and even before she could say “yes” to any forthcoming proposal, Grandpa purchased a wedding band and was ready for a marriage and the next thing you would know on March 26, 1946 they were married here by Dr. DeCateret, much to the chagrin of Mass Urie but blessed somewhat by Miss Phelie as when grandpa visited the home he would take with him the biggest bible and so Miss Phelie thought “tall good looking brown man with a bible..poor but not bad as the large bible indicated a large man of God! The young couple briefly lived in Retirement as Grandma decided that was not for her and moved back to Wilberforce hotly pursued by Grandpa. She never left Wilberforce to the day she died except for a stay in the United States.

From that union, three children were born – Gloria (so named because at the birth registration, Great Grandma Albertha Allen forgot the name given “Angela” and just figure that Gloria was just as good as any. As she was the firstborn she was called Precious. Son Vaughn was next and Thelma (called Curly because her hair was so very curly at birth)

Grandma was always fired by ambition and she worked hard to instill that in her three children. As she would often say “I can’t stand someone without ambition….might as well ‘dem dead” and she lived what she preached. With three children and very poor she was burned with ambition to make sure that they attended school and become “somebody”. She worked diligently and hard at it. She kept cows until one pulled her down and she decided that she would not lose her life from a cow and that was the end of the cow. We eat beef for months! She kept pigs, chickens, rabbits, and planted vegetables for the dinner table. Poor but there was not a day that food was not on the table..many times by a miracle. She made sure that we had food so that we would learn at school. Oh that hot cornmeal porridge made with the fresh cow’s milk that Grandpa had just milked and hardough bread for breakfast. Walking 2 miles or so to school was not a problem, all the children were fed.

She made sure that all the children had clothes. Well, new ones for Church and when those were short and tight they became “yard clothes”. She did not have the patience for sloppiness and clothes had to be starched ironed and shoes shining clean. No matter that it was only one set of church clothes, one set of uniform, one pair of church shoes and one school shoes. She made sure everyone, Grandpa, and all the children were always well “put together” as she would say before they leave the house. And as you know she was a good dresser herself….even to this day.

As I mentioned before education was very important to her and school was a given, Preshous went on to York Castle High, Durham College of Commerce, Thelma to Business school in Kingston becoming one of the fastest Stenographers on graduation, and Vaughn to mechanic training.

Not only was education important but a Christian upbringing was paramount for her. She attended the Catholic Church briefly as a young woman and when she had children and they were ready for church around 2 years old she started them out at the Catholic Church. That did not work after 2 visits because Grandpa had been saved under the fiery preaching of Dr. Johnson and would have none of it. So they were sent off to the Brown’s Town Tabernacle and under the ministry of Dr. Kennedy, Grandma accepted Christ and never looked back. As she said on the day of her baptism, there is no turning back. All three children also accepted Christ under Dr. Kennedy’s ministry. There was no compromise. It was to Church every Sunday.rain or shine sustaining what God had begun. Night services were not included as “night have no governor” so no one was allowed to go out of the house at night.

Grandma was a business woman at heart also. She could not sit still and when things were not looking to her “suit” she began to travel to Kingston and purchase bales of cloth at Princess Street and hire a seamstress to make all kinds of clothing and she would sell at the market for a profit. However, frequently, she would always take out the best cloth to make dresses for the two girls and shirt and pants for the boy. She did this business for a long time and she did it well.

Then in her mid 50’s Grandma decided she would travel overseas.. always wanted the experience. The earlier England migration was not appealing to her as she loved her children so much she would not leave them. They were grown now and so off she went to the United States. A tremendous risk but she is a brave woman at heart and fearlessly she worked there for 15 years and returned home and lived a great life. Don’t be fooled, her life was one of humility. Grandma disliked intensely a haughty and “show off” lifestyle. She was very kind, always giving to someone in need and offering a helping hand but quietly without a word…”because yu no haffe mek people know wha yu a do”. She never hesitated to share some food or clothes with the ones in need. She considered it a sin to have 2 shoes when someone had none. She was so kindhearted; she did not like to have too much for herself. She did not like to have too much for herself so she was always giving away clothes, shoes, food to those who did not have. We recall a lady who was sick and everyday Grandma would take her some soup for a long time and there are many who received her kindness but she did not talk ..you had to only observe it.

She was totally devoted to her husband and children were the apple of her eyes and would wisely let us know that she does not love one more than the other so there was not the rivalry that happens sometimes with siblings. As she would often say, when the hair on the head of one of her children hurt, she hurts. She was a lot of fun and when the children were small there are fond memories they recall of them all playing in her big bed while waiting for Papa to come home from work. When one of her Daughters became ill as a result of untreated Post Partum complications, she did not hesitate to standby by her 110%. She taught us during that time to the day she died how to love unconditionally. As she would often say, there is nothing like the love of a Mother for her child. She was quick to forgive, never held a grudge or a spirit of un-forgiveness. She was always a peacemaker and hated to hear bickering, quarrels and discord. She wept openly when such a thing happened and prayed the more for anyone involved. She was always conscious of not doing anything wrong to upset Jesus. And was constantly praying and asking Jesus to forgive her if she has done anything wrong that she is not aware of. As she always says, “we have to forgive as Jesus did for us”

She lived an authentic life not seeking to impress or to be pretentious. Her life was the truth. She was adamant about the truth…when the children would be naughty or stepped out of line she would cup the face in her hand and say as sternly as she can “Tell me the Truth because I can’t stand a dam liar”. Once she had the truth she would work on fixing the trouble of course with a reprimand.

Mother did her own thinking and did not leave it up to others, whether it is politics or church to do the thinking for her. She spent long period of times talking with God and insights would come to mind as to how god would lead her. She worked out her own salvation. So Godly! She was way ahead in her understanding of God and we think that is because she spent so much time praying to God and cultivating a daily relationship with.

Then the time came, sad time for all, about 5 -8 years ago, her memory started to fade. She had difficulty remembering and was confused. We all thought it was just the usual aging process but she knew something was wrong and she let everyone who would listen know, mostly trying to see if she could fix it. Some people would just dismiss or just rudely turn away, but she knew in her heart that something was not right. You see that was the beginning of altsztimer. A severe form of dementia for which there is no cure. Grandma had the best medical care that is available but thru it all, her one desire was to go home to Jesus. For a long time Grandma just wanted to go home to Jesus. Sometimes she would express her disappointment waking up on earth on not haven. She is the most prepared person we know who with such deep longing and confidence just wanted to be with Jesus.

Jesus answered this remarkable woman of faith wish, desire and prayer on September 6, 2009.

This just in.

So today I received my compassion url http://www.compassion.com/sponsor_a_child/default.htm?referer=28624 Yes. Yes. Very exciting. Well anyway you can use that URL if you would like to sponsor and you heard about it here or even if you didn’t. It randomly selects so if you want to see more just hit the old refresh button and a new set will come up.  Going to be a good day.  So lets start sponsoring.  you can do it here….or here.….or here.…..or

here

or even                                                  here.

New Post

Today I have a new post. I’m sitting listening to Prairie Home Companion maybe because I’m too lazy to get up.  They seem to have the same format for years. But that doesnt really matter to me I guess. I came back from South Africa refreshed and ready for the year now I dont know how else I can spend my summer unless I do one week there. Regardless I think if the Kinsleys are there or not.  I planned a trip to Albuquerque partly because Ive been watching a show taking place there and the other because I need some skymiles.  I’m going to try to go on river rafting trip while im there. Contacted some companies but I’ll take care of the details later.  Ive got to get back to school . I just realized yesterday that Im way past half way done. So I’m going to go hard at it for the next two semesters and try and finish up.  Ive been on break long enough. Oh get this the prof that I was avoiding is leaving.  it can only go up hill from there.  

Ah I feel that I must admit to something.  there has been an air of confessions lately so here is mine.  I really like Drew Barrymore movies.  And I really dont mean like a little. I like them a lot.  50 first dates and Fever pitch and Wedding singer. They’re just good.  Maybe its because we are around the same age so secretly I think we grew up together. Whew that was good to get off my chest.  Anyone else have guilty pleasure confessions.  Its very cleansing.  Look for me tomorrow when I give you my most recent one. 

Oh here is a taste from south Africa. Get jealous that I hung with Amber.