Adversarial Partners

How do you work with conflict? Some of us are really good at it and some well suck.  It seems more and more that I’m in a constant state of conflict. This doesn’t mean that if they were about to go over a cliff i wouldn’t grab them. It does mean that I can be pretty exhausted at the end of the day.

When dealing with this I try not to do a couple of things. One I try not to chalk it it up to a personality trait there by giving them or me a bye.  I try to understand how they are feeling. That I think is pretty important.  People are people and conflict can have some happy surprises.  We’ll see how this partnership turns out.  Happy monday to you.

drew

Body Language

What does your body language say about you. I have a couple of tells that I know of and probably 100s that I don’t.

1.  When I’m frustrated my face relaxes and I speak slower.

2. I have a forehead rub that i do when I’m done with a decision I just don’t know how to tell someone.

3. I force a smile when I’m when I know a conversation is not going well and I want to get out of it.

I tend to size people up from the first time I  meet them. We all kind of do this.  If I work with you I make a pretty quick decision on whether I can work with you or not.  If I can’t work with you or I know that the relationship will be a rocky one I make one of these two decisions.

1. I use an intermediary no use in causing a ton of conflict if I can still get the job done. If I can’t well….

2. I point out the problem and plow through.  I sometimes make light of it.

I’ve gotten to the point in my life where its just not worth the hassle. I actually have fun at work whether its arguing over some video or laughing about the huge mistake I just made.  Why have a job where you hate going to work everyday?  Is it worth that much to live in misery? Money? Your body language is a tell and we can all tell when you hate it.  So how do you change that? You either change your body language or you change your job.  I’m sure your coworkers don’t like it either.

We all work for someone

The older you get I think the more we all realize that we work for someone.  Even if you own your own business you work for the client, the customer, the eh.  It can be some what demoralizing when you come to that realization. I work for someone.  When you work for someone your realize that your’s and the person you work for may have different goals, dreams, aspirations.  You may have complete different philosophies about life, politics, family and yes even church.  I’ve tried to make a happy balance between the two.  Me and the person I work for.  I try not to answer emails on the weekend unless it affect what happens Monday at 8:30.  I try after 8 o’clock not to exchange calls and emails.  You bought my service not my life, right.  It’s not easy. You find that the longer you work for anywhere the more parts of your life are intertwined with your own.  Sometimes I succeed sometime I don’t.  But I am trying. This philosophy if you call it that works great when you are doing some thing you may not agree with. We all work for someone. This seems like a bit of downer but its more of a “Take your life back”  You work so you can live you don’t live for your work.

Peace in the middle east

Pimping ain’t easy

And the hits keep coming. Not only am I in the process of hiring one person but I have a second one that is pretty much a big deal.  I’m in the middle of looking for a graphic designer to complete the team.  I said this before but I’ll say it again. I hate this process.  I know that you are trying pimp yourself out during those times. You will do anything and learn anything.  My heart does break for you that I have something that you want but there is a line behind you that also wants what you want.  I do believe its a crap shoot. The odds are a little better but a crap shoot none the less.  You can interview, have an awesome resume go to the best school and turn out to be crazy.  It takes having a couple come through your life to know what I mean. It’s pretty shocking the first time it happens to you. You wonder what you did wrong.  That’s probably why I take more time just shooting the breeze during an interview. If I can get along with you then things are going to be ok.  I also try to have a second person in the room just in case my crazy meter aint working.  So here are 5 steps on how to Pimp your self if you are planning on applying to student life well let’s just say to interview with me.

1. Don’t wear a tie. I know that its respectful. I know you were probably taught to over dress rather than under dress.  If you are going to wear a tie at least look hip about it. Your paisley purple tie doesn’t make it happen. If you drop off your resume in person you would be able to see the culture.

2.  Always, always research on what we do.  Nothing irks me more than someone asking “So what type of work will I be doing?”

3.  When I ask if you have any questions, come up with one.  We have sat here listening to you talk you’ve got to want to know something.

4.  When I say “tell me about your self” and you ask “What do you want to know?” It is to give you an opportunity to tell me not only about yourself but you get to tell me the things you think are important about you.  I dont do it to try to stump you.

5.  I know you are nervous but I’m going to try to make it as fun as possible. Take a deep breathe and have fun.

Ok so these are hard and fast rules. These are ways to work here for me.  Try them don’t try them.

Peace in the middle east

New Music- John Mayer

I don’t know when I became a John Mayer fan. I think it was actually during the chappelle show when he did a guest appearance.  I like him and I like this album. I once again bought and LP off of Itunes. This one wasn’t as cool as the Jay-z album but it was good.  It had a couple of videos and of course the lyrics.  Ok this is going to be real short. I may give a little write up later but for now give it a listen give it a try.

I’m going to let this speak for him. One of my favorite michael jackson songs.

My New Love

Ok. Nothing about work here. Today starts my get some stuff done day. In honor of that I’ll start by talking about my new favorite show. Modern Family. What i like about it is they way it looks at our messed up family lives and say “you are not alone”  I was an avid watcher of Married with Children and what I liked about the family was that no matter how much you saw them go at it they truly loved each other.  (yeah I know its a show but you get my point) Kind of like the Osbourne family.

This show came out of no where for me. One day while flipping through some hulu stuff I thought I should give it a try. I ended up watching all the episodes they had.  Here is what the show consist of a : A father that divorced his wife to marry a Latin princess who already had a quirky kid.  His daughter is married to the typical american dad persona (he’s made to look stupid but has a big heart). Her brother is gay and is married to a dude and they just adopted a kid. Typical huh. Give it a shot you may be surprised.

Peace in the Middle east

Not reading email + Throwing something together = being unprepared for meeting

So I’ve noticed that I have spoken about pop culture in about a week. There will be a new music Friday this week but it seems I’ve been on this work kinda kick lately. Maybe its the added responsibility. I dont know. Its just where I am right now.

So yesterday. I was asked about a week ago to come to a meeting and pitch along with others some ideas for a new project we are working. With this being part of my job I gladly accepted.  That was about the end of me thinking about it. We had a follow up email to ask about what time. I gave what time I could attend and said meeting was even reschedule to accommodate me.  That was my second opportunity to engage.  There were follow up emails giving instructions. I once again did not read. Then came the day of the meeting. When we are talking about lesson ideas I sometimes like trying to think up with those right before the meeting.  This though is different. You have to search and look and dream. I blew it and it showed.  Never throw that kinda stuff together.  This goes back to how a meeting should be run.  From the moment I started talking I knew I was in trouble especially when you see people who had thought about it working. I suck. Because of my guilt I bought the staff breakfast.  A kind of hey please like me and because they are pretty awesome . They continue to take up my slack.  I have a list for being ready for a meeting.

1. Read all correspondence

2. Prepare to prepare for a meeting

3. Know when you can’t contribute.

4. Don’t be afraid to say you are not ready.

5. You are to be a help not a hindrence

6. Don’t be stupid.

Peace

Meetings (persudae or defend)

I think its hard to actually get anything accomplished in a meeting. I don’t know if that’s universal. NO. I think it is. Here is what happens in a lot of meetings I’m in. Ever person has a certain agenda. We don’t always know what that agenda is. So we spend most of the time trying to persuade or defend our agenda.  That happened to me recently.  Two people were engaged in discussion where I do think they both were speaking different languages. It was like the tower of babble you know. Right after the fall or Pentecost.  So, the rest of us also not knowing what language this was just kinda waited until the dust cleared.  Two people trying to persuade and defend.  The funny thing is I don’t think either person was necessarily wrong.  Both had great points and both wanted the other person to understand.

I don’t have a list of things to remember. Well I do have one. Let your agenda be known. You may find that when each person does that you start with what you all hope to accomplish from this meeting.  I do work with one guy that is very good at that. He starts his meetings with “here is what I hope to accomplish with this meeting” From the start we are all on the same page. Good job you. I may bring you a cookie today.

Peace